Not “bi” as in attracted to people regardless of their gender, “bi” in that my sexual orientation can be represented as a + bi where a and b are real numbers and i is an imaginary component
“The niece of the great Mongol leader, Kubla Khan, Princess Khutulun was described by Marco Polo as the greatest warrior in Khan’s army. She told her uncle she would marry any man who could wrestle her and win. If they lost they had to give her 100 horses.
She died unmarried with 10,000 horses.”
“The best thing about writing fiction is that moment where the story catches fire and comes to life on the page, and suddenly it all makes sense and you know what it’s about and why you’re doing it and what these people are saying and doing, and you get to feel like both the creator and the audience. Everything is suddenly both obvious and surprising… and it’s magic and wonderful and strange.”
Laid up on the couch sick all day watching Venture Brothers, playing Dragonvale and looking at funny pictures on the internet. Then David comes in after work and we manage to *unfold* all the laundry on the floor. Then I watch him work out from the couch while I eat wheat thins and leer creepily at him the entire time. Then I was in the bathroom and David yells “OH SHIT!” and I lean forward out of the open bathroom door and yell “What?!” and he says “JUST DON’T COME IN HERE” so I’m like oh ok it’s a spider I can handle this, I’m not going to freak out, and then David squeals like a girl and he runs past the bathroom to go get a bigger shoe, and I’m like…. Something is off here, so I yell “WHAT IS IT?” and he runs back past the bathroom with a combat boot and says really fast “IT’S-A-SCORPION” and I don’t know why but I get really excited and follow him with my pants only half way pulled up and I’m yelling “DON’T KILL IT YET I WANNA SEE IT!” and then I saw this huge scorpion mother fucker trucking across the floor like a semi and I immediately turn around and head for higher ground in the kitchen yelling “NOPE NOPE NOPE BAD IDEA I SHOULDN’T HAVE LOOKED AT IT NOPE TERRIBLE IDEA” and then I proceeded to have a panic attack on the kitchen counter with my pants halfway down.
Fast forward a bit and it’s about bed time, but I feel like shit so I take some nyquil. Then everything gets a little fuzzy but David says I just wandered around the apartment for a while complaining and yelling because “we don’t have bacon cheeseburgers, or at least cheetos I mean COME ON what is this a communist country?! I JUST REALLY WANT SOME CHEETOS” and then I found some chocolate wafers and ate those while making what he described as “orgasm noises, like, a really really good orgasm I think” and then I said “and FUCK brushing my teeth before bed, I’m an ADULT” and then I passed out ass-up on the bed.